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Bribery, corruption, and blackmail

Yes, alas, I have to admit that both my other half and myself are guilty.  Everyday, often several times a day, we find ourselves having to use bribes, corruption and blackmail to get things done.  It’s our own fault, although I believe my Italian other half may have started us down this slippery slope.  Well, she will do anything for a quiet life.

As with many of these situations, things start out in a small way, but then the occasional bribe becomes more regular, and the blackmail becomes something of a way of life. Still, resorting to these heinous techniques becomes a necessity, especially in our household. Only today I found myself having to offer several bribes and use a small dose of blackmail to get my way. It was tough, but at least things went a lot smoother as a result, and, there really was no alternative, I can tell you. The precedent has been well and truly set, and there is no going back.

And our four and a half year old milks every single opportunity.  Now, he won’t do a thing unless some agreement is reached, usually involving some sweet, toy, or threat. Not resorting to such dodgy parenting practices results in the most terrible temper tantrums, with everyone looking at you, if you happen to find yourself out and about during one of these ‘attacks’.

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Today I found myself having to drag a bawling terror along the road, just because I did not take the road that led to the marble-selling toy shop. I had to hold his little hand in a vice like grip for fear of his running into the middle of a busy road.  When Martly is nice, he is very nice, but when he does not get his way, trouble, with a capital T.  I do put my foot down, but my other capitulates rather too easily for my liking. And the trouble with this is that our little darling really does ‘go for it’ as often as he can.

You should hear his ‘crocodile tears’, the stuff of Oscars, I can tell you.  He can turn on the waterworks at will, and he is not above ‘turning on the charm’ to get his own little way.

It sort of makes me wonder whether most Italian mums are given to bribery, corruption, and blackmail in the name of controlling their badly behaved little ones.  If this is the case, then it might explain why such practices between ‘big boys’ are rather more common here than in the UK, for example.  Just a silly thought, I know….

What a wicked, wicked thought.

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