Section 1. Henceforth spoken and written use of reference to and inference to the word ‘old’ and the use of all synonyms of such word related concepts appearing in the Italian language and equivalent words which exist in any and all dialects employed by Italians are hereby declared illegal.
Section 2. Pursuant to the requirements of Section 1 herein of this Legislative Decree Rome shall be known forthwith as Italy’s new capital and Pompei shall be granted the status of ‘New Town’.
Section 3. In accordance with Section 1 hereto any and all words appearing in any and all Italian dictionaries and/or dictionaries concerning Italian dialects which make reference to the word ‘old’ synonyms of aforesaid word and dialectical equivalents of such word are to be removed.
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Section 4. Use of word ‘old’ and the use of all synonyms of such word that appear in the Italian language and equivalent words which exist in any and all dialects employed by Italians shall be punishable by appearances on the newest version of ‘Big Brother’. Appearance is obligatory and mandatory. Any and all of those who refuse to appear on ‘Big Brother’ will be sentenced to prepare new election posters for all of Italy’s new politicians.
Section 5. With reference to Section 3 hereto above as aforementioned any and all of those found in possession of dictionaries and/or other reference sources electronic gas-powered or otherwise containing reference to the word ‘old’ synonyms of aforesaid word related concepts and dialectical equivalents of such word shall be burnt at the stake until nicely roasted and served with chips fries or there common equivalents.
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