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How to Defend Berlusconi

The mind boggles as to just how convict Silvio Berlusconi’s PdL party parliamentary commission members are attempting to defend and save their beloved leader from being kicked out of Italy’s senate.

Just what arguments or temptations will they be employing?

Here’s a little tongue in cheek speculation.

PdL commission member: Italy’s parliament is already riddled with dubious types suspected of criminal behaviour, so what difference will it make to leave Berlusconi where he is? None at all! I rest my case. Silvio should stay.


PdL commission member: OK, OK, I know the PdL helped draft the law which is being used to remove Berlusconi from the senate, but we were all terribly pushed for time. We just didn’t notice the law would be unconstitutional when applied to Silvio, er sorry, Cavalier Berlusconi. We’re not perfect. These little mistakes happen. Play nice. Let him stay, please?

Or possibly:

PdL commission member: Berlusconi has done lots for Italy. He gave the world bunga bunga. Look at all the fun the Ruby case generated? Wasn’t it a great laugh? He’s a one, is old Silvio. How could you want to kick someone out of parliament who makes you laugh? Go on, let him stay. He’ll be ever so unhappy if you kick him out. He might even cry.


PdL commission member: Look, it was only a teensy weensy bit of tax fraud. What’s a little tax dodging between friends? It’s no reason to kick someone out of the senate. Be kind, let Silvio stay.


PdL commission member: Let Berlusconi stay in Italy’s senate and I promise he’ll make no more YouTube videos.


PdL commission member: Would you look at that? I’ve just found this book of black checks signed by Berlusconi? Vote nice, and you can have one!

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PdL commission member: Now, who’d like a nice villa in Tuscany? Or Liguria, or anywhere in Italy? Save Silvio and the villas are yours. Go on, you know it makes sense.


PdL commission member: Yes, it’s a real Rolex. It was a present from Silvio Berlusconi. He’s extremely generous. If you vote nice, you’ll get a Rolex or two.


PdL commission member: I have in my hand a fist full of bunga bunga party invitations. I know you want one. And you can have one too, if you vote to save Berlusconi.


PdL commission member: (puts down mobile phone) That was Silvio, guys, he’s offered each of you free use of his girls for a month! (murmurs) OK, OK, for a year. Two years? Yes, you can have three at a time, if you want. All you have to do is vote to save him. Easy.


PdL commission member: Well, he’s been convicted and the law is the same for everyone, but this is Silvio Berlusconi, enough said.

Or possibly various combinations of the above.

Other fun suggestions on how to extricate Silvio Berlusconi from the little problem of his pending expulsion from Italy’s parliament more than welcome 😉




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