Are Daleks Behind Milan’s Missing Bins Mystery?!

Weird it is. The street bins in the area of Milan, Italy, in which I live are becoming distinctly scarce. The bins have been mysteriously disappearing.

Not so long ago, my area of Milan – the Via Paolo Sarpi area – was veritably riddled with street bins. They were everywhere. Some looked as if they have been created from decapitated, upturned Daleks. But now many of the Dalek bins are no more.

One notices bin things when one is a dog walking poop scooper. Nowadays, one finds that one often has to make a detour to a suitably bin equipped street so the scooped poop can be disposed of discreetly.

I did ask a passing street cleaner if he knew why the bins had been going missing. “It’s the Chinese”, came the reply. Apparently, the Chinese residents of this area, of which there are more than a few – on Google maps I live in Chinatown – have been appropriating the bins and popping them outside their own eateries and shops, or so the street cleaner advised this here bin hunter.

An Old Style Milan Street Bin
An Old Style Milan Street Bin – this example has been bin-knapped

Is the Chinese appropriation of bins story plausible or is it a load of rubbish? Who knows. It’s probably rubbish seeing as this resident has not noticed flocks of bins appearing in the vicinity of Chinese run shops and restaurants. And just why would the Chinese suddenly have decided to relocate all the bins? Maybe, just maybe, it’s an attempt to dodge the municipal refuse tax. By dumping commercial waste in a street bin one might reduce one’s trash tax liability, maybe.

Maybe the mystery of the missing bins is a clandestine austerity measure by the city council? The erstwhile councillors have reasoned, maybe, that fewer bins means fewer street cleaners which, in turn, means lower refuse collection costs for the budget strapped council. This explanation is a mite more more plausible than the possibility of Chinese appropriation.

Then again, maybe Daleks have been teleporting the bodies of their decapitated loved ones up into their mothership. Unlikely. I can’t remember the last time I saw a Dalek mothership in the skies over Milan. As Doctor Who well knows, Daleks tend to go an ‘exterminating’ in London and its suburbs. Daleks don’t often visit Milan, it has to be said.

A Dalek bin which has not been repatriated
A Dalek bin which has not been repatriated

Anyway, the missing bins situation is odd. Where have all the bins gone? I shall tweet to my Milan based Twitter followers in order to find out whether they too are missing bins, or have spotted Dalek motherships, for that matter.

I shall get to the bottom of Milan’s Missing Bins Mystery!

 

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