Baby is safely ensconced in his baby seat doing his level best to cover himself with yogurt. So, I decided to steal another few moments to write about what not to do, perhaps, as a father.
Our little darling sleeps, if you can call it that, (more like fidgets, kicks and cries his way through the night) with us. This is my fault, I totally underestimated the power of the maternal instinct and was too lazy to get up during those first few months, when babies wake up right through the night wanting to be fed all the time. My better half hates to hear the little one cry. I find this a bit strange, as I had always been led to believe that this is what babies do, as a rule, but then she also hated to hear our little dog bark, so I guess I should have learned something from this and how the same modus operandi would have been applied to life with baby. So, baby would cry and I would hesitate for a moment be for resigning myself to the fact that I should get up and help put an end to baby’s distress.
(He’s about to burst into tears at the moment, seeing as he cannot seem to pull off his sock, which must be a frustrating thing for a baby. At least it is for ours. I’ve just helped him remove one sock, but this is not enough, as he has two on and now must do his best to remove the other one, for some unknown baby reason. Have you ever tried explaining to a baby with a cold why it might be a good idea to keep his socks on? No, thought not, not successfully anyway. )
Back on track, as I was writing, there was me woken from my slumbers contemplating getting up and hoping that baby would cry himself back to sleep, as I believe babies do. However, I hesitated several nano seconds too long. While I was thinking, mum was acting. She could teach a few things to the odd intelligence service as to the sensitivity of their listening/spying gear, I reckon. Baby just has to utter a few cry-like sounds and she’s up and off, she would make an Olympic sprinter look slow. This was when baby slept in his cot, which was in our room.
Being a pragmatic sort, as I like to think I am, I assumed that my better half would soon tire of all this leaping up all through the night and let baby gurgle a little and fall asleep again without intervention. I was wrong, big time wrong. Mum decided that the only way for her to avoid getting up was, not training the little mite to sleep alone, oh no, but putting him in the parental bed. Result, no-one no gets any sleep and everyone feels pretty foul in the mornings.
Do this for over a year and, well, as you can imagine, probably, that it’s not too conducive to the maintenance of a good relationship. You have been warned all you prospective fathers out there. That female maternal instinct is just as strong as the male getting-your-leg over instinct, sorry to be crude, but that really is the best and, I hope, most understandable by a male audience, analogy I can come up with.
I suppose it would help if both parties had been agreeable to the putting baby in bed with us thing, as this would have led to less conflict. I, as I have already stated, fully accept that I played the wrong card. Still, this is my first sprog, and I had never really inquired into the psychology of the process. I realise, now, way too late that this was a mistake.
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