The Situation
OK, so you are young, Italian, from the south of Italy, have just finished struggling through a five year degree course which took seven or eight years and you have had the courage to move all the way up to Milan to do a Master in some business school or other. All in the hope of landing an internship (internship is ‘stage’ in Italian), which may become a permanent job.
You have just about finished your Master and are doing the interview rounds. You have a degree mark or 100 or higher, possible ‘cum laude’, and have passed all the Master exams with flying colours. Everything looks positive.
Then you go to a few interviews only to find that you are not called back for a follow-up interview. You cannot understand why, all the questions asked seemed so normal. Friendly even. I mean they even asked about your boyfriend/girlfriend. That was maybe a little unusual, but, well, they do want to get to know you.
The Obstacle
Do you remember that odd, but seemingly innocent questioning concerning your boy/girlfriend? Well, perhaps it was not as innocent as it first appeared. Because, the interviewer was trying to establish whether your ‘separation’ is likely to affect your work, presumably because the employer has had problems of this type in the past. And unless you answer satisfactorily, you may not be offered an internship, let alone a full time position. It appears that those from the south of Italy who are seeking work in the north are more likely to receive a grilling about relationships than those from the north.
Now, whereas this line of questioning may very well be considered illegal in the UK, in Italy such questions are quite legal and normal. However, these questions could be described as being more than a little discriminatory, even if, with the rigid Italian employment laws, companies do need to be very sure that they are not going to end up with deadwood. It is still very difficult to remove poorly performing employees in Italy, hence these investigations into such indirect personal matters.
The (possible) Solutions
You could simply lie, and say you have no boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment, but if they find out later, you could face problems, and these problems could prejudice your future career.
As an alternative, you could say that the relationship is not serious, that you are more than happy to work in north Italy and willing to move out of Italy if offered the opportunity. Many companies in Italy are well aware that many Italians are highly reluctant to move away from their places of origin for much more than a short time, and so they are often extremely content to find an Italian who is prepared to live permanently in another area of Italy, or even better, to travel regularly or move abroad.
Then again, you could be honest and let the company take you as you are, and risk not being offered an internship or a permanent position. Then at least you will know what kind of company you are dealing with.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend is in north Italy, either studying or working, make this very clear and you will be considered a lower risk.
Above all, be aware of the potential traps contained in questions about relationships and have an answer prepared. Occasionally such questions may simply be a way of monitoring your reaction to emotional issues and nothing more, but…. Better safe than sorry, as the old English saying goes.
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One thing is certain though: it ain’t all that easy for young Italians to find a job.
OK, I guess this post should be in Italian, but those Italians who can understand it are potentially very good job candidates for multinational Italian or foreign companies. And knowing what I’ve written here might be helpful.
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It is a difficult situation… especially for those who can actually make it that far!
Thanks for the link Alex. Back at ya. Joe
Wow that sounds insanely discriminatory, in North America as well. o_O
@Joe,
Yes, it’s not easy. The north south divide can be quite a barrier here.
As for the link – You’re welcome!
Jan,
Well, I think it is discriminatory, you think it is too, but here the fact that it is discriminatory will not even enter the head of someone posing questions about such things – although it can be used to dispose of perceived threats.
I have heard of even quite senior interviewers giving the impression that they feel threatened by some interviewees. It’s almost as if they feel that his or her job could be threatened by someone potentially better. Very odd, but very Italian at the same time.
Regards to both of you,
Alex
I have lived in Italy since 2003, the job situation is incredible. Finding a decent job here is like finding he holy grail. I was fortunate and was transferred here by my company. Last year I was laid off, I now run an online business from home. But really the whole lack of jobs here especially in the south is beyond wild. People are desperate. When I was laid off I was given the option to be transferred to the middle east, I declined it. My Italian friends thought I was nuts! So yes definately a sign of country in decline, when finding a job becomes such an insurmountable task. I am going back home to Texas later on this year, I will miss it here but honestly I am ready to go back to a “normal” place.
Hi Deas,
Thanks for dropping in.
You are right about how difficult it can be to land a job here. It’s not easy for Italians, but if you are not Italian you need plenty of luck, or you need to know someone.
It also depends where you are in Italy and what you can offer, of course. There is always language teaching…..
Even if you do manage to find work, you probably will not be offered a permanent position, at least not initially.
Not knowing Italian will not help either, but this is normal in most countries.
It’s a shame you’ve decided to return to your normality, but understandable.
All the best for the future,
Alex
Hi Alex,
I speak fluent Italian I actually was fortunate and had a high paying technical job through 2007, from the time I arrived in 2004. My contract was renewed but I was tasked to go to the middle east for 4 years and I declined the offer and was then laid off. So as for finding a job,, I found a job in Italy while in the US, was transferred here, and never really had to deal with the Italian system of asking favors etc..I was very fortunate, I realize this, an american working for an american company in Italy. I witnessed though what Italians gto through here, the friends I made, all living at home, all unemployed or under employed or getting paid “in nero” all that stuff. Also people thought I was crazy when I chose to be laid off and not accept the opportunity in Kuwait. I work from home, most of my work and my clients are in the states and I am paid in the states, I just don’t deal with the situation here and I am just ready to go home. I do not think I would be able to accept your reality. Thanks for your advice and good luck to you. You have a beautiful country here.
Dea
As an Italian, I can tell you it goes further than that.
Last year I interviewed with a large multinational company following my MBA at Berkeley. I interviewd with the Italian team for a job in Milan- the first questions I was asked, in order, were: How old are you, are you married, do you have children. (Answers are 33, yes and no).
Needless to say, I was greeted with a shrug, and “we will be in touch”. I was more than qualified for the opening, but being a woman who could have children sometimes soon, I wasn’t considered a good candidate. It happened a few more times before I gave up. Is it discriminatory? Yes, by all means. Maternity laws in Italy are so skewed toward the mother that potential mothers become a liability for employers.
I hated it to the point that realizing I could not get a job in Italy, my husband and I decided to stay in the US. It’s just the way it goes, and I guess all the Italians who are in a position to change things prefer to stay away…
Hi Vanessa,
Welcome to Blog from Italy.
Sorry to hear your story, although as you and I both know, you are not alone.
It’s a great shame you decided to stay in the US, even if it is completely understandable.
This, alas:
“I guess all the Italians who are in a position to change things prefer to stay away…”
I fear is very true, and very sad.
All the best to both of you for the future, and here’s hoping you can return to Italy and make a difference. One day.
Alex
Thanks Alex! I appreciate the sympathy… but it’s not that bad, this North America thing, you know? No bureaucracy, things work, and you can have a real career!
Ciao!
Vanessa
Prego Vanessa. Good to hear that US life is to your taste and that you are having a ‘real’ career!
At least good people stand a better chance of achieving some degree of success in the States.
Sad thing is – The USA’s gain is Italy’s loss.
And I know quite a number of career minded Italians who realise that the only way to have a career, unless you are ‘raccomandato’, is to leave Italy.
A great shame. Italy really has so much to offer, only it does not seem to realise this and continues to hobble itself with complex and ill thought out laws.
Kind regards,
Alex
I am Stranieri. I am from Bangladesh. I came Italy in 24th October. i’ll give comments next time if i will get response. thanks Zahurul
Hi Alex,
Dea xo
I just ran into these posts from 2 years ago, hope all is well and that you are still blogging.
My news update:
I ended up staying in Italy, I got married. I was fortunate enough to go back to an old career path that I used to do back home. I telecommute for a US law firm all the way in teeny tiny Marsala Sicily. I am a paralegal and I do document analysis for a firm that has Italian pharmaceutical clients. I have gotten used to life here and appreciate the good aspects of life in Italy and there are plenty… qualitiy of life, safety, low cost of living, quality of food and ingredients.
Thank you so much for the great advice you gave to me 2 years ago, take care & blessings